Oh mmm geeee why is everything so difficult and painful?!
And I don’t mean, you know, the actually objectively difficult and painful front-line witnessing of human suffering at my office job every day. I don’t talk about that!
I mean, just, like, everything else that should be less difficult.
Like, I was gonna bother you about my music today–just a lil innocent update for those of you who do not subscribe to my music blog (and if you follow both, I’m sorry to be repetitive and I love you and think you’re amazing and perfect and getting into heaven, no question, 100%).
You see, I’d like to simply be able to direct you to my new single on Spotify BUT I CAN’T. BECAUSE SPOTIFY DIDN’T DISTRIBUTE IT CORRECTLY, AND ALL I CAN DO IS WAIT FOR THEM TO MAYBE RESPOND TO MY EMAIL(S). Meanwhile, my song is up there, but it’s under a new, unverified artist named Weekes… thus dividing my meagre and hard-won fans in half!
Any little hiccup like this is actually kind of a big deal because, as some of you may have experienced, it’s like really REALLY hard to get people to follow instructions to support your shit. It needs be like SO EASY and effortless, or else the majority of people (who even try in the first place – so that’s like 1-2% of the people who see your post) just give up. And I don’t really blame them. You sort of have to go out of your way to figure out how to help people on social media.
I really love this new song, and I had scheduled to release it this week with some little fanfare and very clear-cut ways for people to listen to it to maximise exposure. Following, streaming, and sharing my music on Spotify (or Apple Music) is helpful. So, if I’m lucky enough to have people listen, they are most likely just gonna listen once during the week I post it (and even more likely just listen to the first half of the song before moving on)… so it’d be great if that one listen occurred on Spotify where it counts etc…
But ultimately, rather than wait for the Spotify gods to sort my stuff out (they won’t, I’m not important), I decided I’d just get my song out there this week.
I mean, because it’s really about sharing my music with people who might be genuinely interested–and also, I wanted to offer a little charitable incentive for engaging with my new song! (Plus, on a totally selfish level, my birthday always makes me feel particularly anxious, and I’d like to counterbalance that by sharing something of which I am proud.)
So, listen up: proceeds from downloading ‘Replacer’ directly from my website (for just 99p!) will be donated to Hurricane Irma relief. Of course, you can’t download music from your mobile devices, so this involves going to your computer and finding this blog post again and then clicking on the link (oh, too much?? I’ve lost you already!!!!). Don’t worry, you can still stream the song for free from your mobile devices by following the same link and pressing play! PLEASEGODJUSTLISTENTOIT!
Good grief, though, I hate all this. A lot. A really big part of me wants to just retreat back into silence. But then I freak out inside, and feel like I must be producing things and adding value to something somewhere.
So a toast to idiot me, on this day of my birth some 34 years ago.
May a miracle occur and my vocation be taken seriously some day.
Remember, these are some of the other hellish places you can find me: