I am super pleased this week to introduce you to the newest addition to our household:
Sinéad is a Beastie from Dublin, bestowed life and purpose by the one and only Helen of the Beastie Towers, the First of Her Name, The Unpricked, Queen of the Beasties, the Edamame and the First Mittens, Khaleesi of the Great Yarn Sea, Protector of the Wool, Lady Regnant of the Christmas Markets, Breaker of Change and Mother of all Beasties.
Upon hearing of Jane the Cat’s renowned beauty and grace, Sinéad (Irish for ‘Jane’, as luck would have it) asked to come and live with us in London. You see, Sinéad majored in Cat-Beastie Relations at university, and she is OBSESSED with cats. Like, more obsessed with cats than I am.
For those of you who don’t know, Cat-Beastie relations have historically been pretty fraught. Whilst some cats merely ignore the presence of a mischievous Beastie, others have been known to violently lash out. These unpredictable acts of violence endanger the lives of less-savvy Beasties who are just trying to be friendly–and therefore the cat community has been painted in a pretty negative light by some Beasties hoping to perpetuate a climate of fear between the two species.
Luckily, there are Beasties like Sinéad who consider themselves advocates and activists for the improvement of these Cat-Beastie relations. Sinéad believes that cats are kind and misunderstood creatures, and she thinks the more she learns about them and their ways, the better she will be able to build the bridge between the two worlds. Where better to take up her cause than the home of Jane and Edward?
Pfffffttt well, I can think of a few safer places!
When Sinéad first contacted me, I shared my reservations with her about applying to Edward’s ‘better nature’. Like, I told her I was pretty sure Edward didn’t have a better nature, and that I was positive he would love to eat her. I explained that Edward is not one to curb his wanton desires or show any abstention from behaviour that might be deemed indecent by civilised people.
Despite my protestations, Sinéad remained convinced that she would do Edward some good and insisted on making the flight across the Irish Sea. I found that I was unable to refute her claim that Jane is divine creature sent down from heaven above or her argument that it’s worth risking Edward’s voracious appetite just to be in the same room with his perfect sister.
After consulting with B about whether or not we could accommodate a fifth family member, I phoned Sinéad back with a tentative yes. She must have grabbed her passport and raced to the airport as fast as her
stubby short less-long-than-average legs could go… because she was here in no time!
To my surprise, Sinéad showed up at my door wearing a Beastie-sized version of my CATS (the musical!) hoodie. Since I am pictured wearing this hoodie every day, Sinéad mistook it for some kind of cat advocate uniform. I have not yet disabused her of this notion.
Everyone was very eager to say hello. Whilst Sinéad was delighted with the enthusiastic feline reception, I felt extremely nervous and quickly made excuses for why I felt she had better ‘rest’ for awhile in a coffin-esque drawer.
Sinéad also brought along a special edition vinyl copy of my new album, Pocket Bible. (Which is now available for streaming and downloading, y’all!!!!!) I was super chuffed that someone as cool as she is shows interest in my music, and B was glad to have another record to add to the collection. (I think this might work out!)
Although Sinéad denies that her hip shaved head look has anything to do with Sinéad O’Connor, I can’t help but think there must be a connection. Every time I see her, I have to contain the urge to sing, ‘NoTHING compares TO YOU!’… I hope this impulse will subside with time.
I must admit, everything about Sinéad is pretty damn cool, from her piercings and makeup down to her little stripey legs. I’m looking forward to sharing some of our future adventures together with you! First up/next up, a weekend away in Somerset with a couple of history bits…
And if you enjoyed this Beastie update and want to read about other Beastie adventures, I’ll urge you again to sign up for the BeastieBlog. There’s also a Beastie scamp named Finn who makes hilarious mischief every Saturday over on Tammie’s blog.
Now, the album! Then I promise I’ll shut up for a little while!
Here are some places you can find it:
Or drop me a line about ordering a physical CD!