It’s that time of year again!
I considered just re-blogging my Valentine post from last year because it’s one of my favourite posts ever and it hasn’t gotten many views…. but no, I decided that I owe my dear readers some fresh content on this day of love.
Besides, there is already a v-day post I wrote for a socialite I worked for (don’t ask) that seems to re-emerge on her website every February (with my name deleted from the writing and photography credits, of course) about planning an ‘intimate supper’ for your lover (bleck) with fancy china and calligraphy invitations (this all sooooo sounds like me, doesn’t it?) and a four course meal (that you’re supposed to cook for your lover/instruct your maid to cook for your lover), so I figure there are enough recycled Weekes vibes out there representing February 14th.
This year, I’ve been re-inspired by my ‘intimate supper’ piece (even that descriptor gives me the willies, kind of like the words ‘moist’ and ‘panties’ or ‘moist panties’ if you really want things to get offensively unbearable), and I feel compelled to write another guide for spending an ideal Valentine’s Day with your lover.
Valentine’s Day is
around the corner today… what do you have planned for your special someone*? Don’t panic–I’ve compiled a list of useful tips and tricks to make sure that this Valentine’s Day is a night to remember.
- The Menu
Nothing is sexier than binge watching TV whilst eating delivery in bed next to your partner. This may sound like a laid back approach to the evening, but believe me, you need to plan ahead. Like, what if Deliveroo is really busy due to the holiday and your favourite restaurant isn’t available? Not only do you need to be emotionally prepared for this prospect, but you also need to have edible backup substances on hand in the fridge.
If your takeaway dreams fall to pieces or you’re really feeling like you should ‘cook’ something since it’s a special occasion, I recommend oven pizzas. Don’t be intimidated- enjoying a piping hot pie in less than 6 minutes is easier than it sounds! Wack on that oven (preheating is optional if you just turn it all the way up to highest setting 100 degrees hotter than what the package recommends), unwrap your beautiful baby, and stick her in!
[Pro Tip: Don’t forget to set the timer on your iPhone.]
Once she’s out of the oven, that’s when you can get creative. What’s that? A lil garlic salt, you say? Sprinkle away! Oregano? Perfect! OOoohhhh what’s that cheeky bottle of Cholula doing there? Get it on that pizza immediately!!!!!!!
It is also surprising and exciting to discover how many condiments subtly complement pizza. My favourite trio is BBQ sauce, Burger sauce, and Garlic sauce, but really the combinations are endless and can cater to you and your lover’s own tastes.
2. The Entertainment
Now, what to watch? Again, this might seem like something that can be decided at the last minute, but what if you’ve seen everything already? Like, actually everything. The second it comes out. Do you really want to spend your whole evening scrolling through Netflix and throwing out titles of D-list options to your increasingly annoyed partner? I didn’t think so.
Nothing says romance like gritty drama, murder, and abuse etc. And I really have seen it all. Rather than give you a list of some good options, I’m just going to invite you to message me if you are considering watching something, and I will let you know whether it is good or bad.
Reaching optimal levels of comfort also takes a surprising amount of preparation. It’s Valentine’s Day after all, so you’re probably going to want to wear some special lingerie. For example, I have a pair of ‘Friday Night Underwear’ that I always make sure is clean and ready for the weekend. They are Hanes from Target, one size to big, with ample waistband and nice full coverage all the way to the bellybutton. For a special night, I am willing to sub these bad boys in out of sequence, but that means planning ahead!
Same goes for your favourite sweatpants and t-shirts. Sometimes, if I’m feeling fancy or trying to look smart, I will tuck the t-shirt into the sweatpants to reveal some semblance of a waist, but this step is optional.
[Pro Tip: Giant, thick socks pulled up over the bottoms of the sweatpants provides another nice aesthetic that your partner is sure to enjoy.]
[Another Pro Tip: Obviously don’t bother wearing a bra–what are you, some kind of masochist?!]
4. Finishing Touches
Of course, all this sounds a little bit dire if you leave out the most important ingredient–wine! Once again, preparation is key because there’s nothing worse than the panic that sets in when you realise you don’t have enough and the shop is closing and you have to run down the street in the aforementioned outfit with your bathrobe-esque coat flapping behind you. It really spoils the mood of the whole evening.
I like to keep the wine on the bedside table for convenient refills.
But this makes the colour choice tricky, both red and white having their pros and cons. If you’ve splashed out for a £5 bottle of white, it’s probably best served cold vs bedroom-warmed. However, I think you’ll find that once you have had a decent amount of the £5 white wine, the room temperature remainder is perfectly palatable. Red wine, on the other hand, grows increasingly more delicious as it airs itself on your bedside…. but the more you drink of it, the more likely you are to spill it on the bed or on the floor or on your cat or on your favourite sweatshirt. Be sure to weigh up these options beforehand and decide what is best for you and what kind of risks you are willing to take.
[Pro Tip: You can minimise some of the risk by avoiding a dangerous traditionally stemmed wine glass and opting instead for a reliable juice glass or highball.]
And there you have it–all the ingredients to ensure that your Valentine’s Day is one for the books!
What are your plans, my little cupids?! Pizza? Roasted heart? Let me know in comments!
Love you today and all days/daze ❤ ❤ ❤